Pictures of You - Ch. 25

You and I, we may look the same
But we are very far apart
There's bullet-holes where my compassion used to be
And there is violence in my heart

"My Violent Heart" - Nine Inch Nails

Dinner at the Strife house was a relaxed affair, even more so now that Zack had already met Cloud's mother once before. The diminutive blonde woman fussed over the two young men, causing a fair bit of blushing and muttering from Cloud, and making Zack chuckle warmly.

It was nice to feel this normalcy once again, sitting around the small table and sharing a hearty meal together. Zack tucked into the stew and buttered potatoes as if he hadn't eaten in weeks, and Cloud put away far more food than he normally did.

"My recipe makes eight servings, but I daresay you two won't be leaving me any leftovers!" Reyja said teasingly, her blue eyes dancing with mischief.

"Mmfph," Zack grunted around the soft wheat dinner roll he'd just stuffed in his mouth. "S'delicious," he murmured appreciatively, politely wiping butter from the corner of his mouth with the napkin. "Thank you, Mrs. Strife."

"Didn't I tell you to call me Reyja, Zack?" she chided, giving Zack a wink. She smiled, patting Cloud's arm. "I am glad we had this time together, Cloud. And I'm very happy to have met your young man. So...when's the wedding?"

Cloud began choking on his food, and Zack clapped him on the back, offering him a glass of water as he gave a nervous chuckle.

"Well...I wasn't expecting that question, to be honest," Zack said, laughing as Cloud glared at him and attempted to collect himself. "But since you asked..." Zack gave Cloud a curious glance, and the cadet shrugged his shoulders, nodding.

"We've talked about it, sure," Zack went on, trying to sound nonchalant. "But...we're still young, and Cloud's determined to get into SOLDIER. And I'm going to everything I can to support him."

"I don't think my chances are very good," Cloud said dubiously. "And...things are up in the air right now at the Academy anyway. They'll be getting new instructors, I mean," Cloud said quickly, when his mother looked at him questioningly. He didn't want to let his mother know that some of the instructors were to be replaced because they'd been killed in the line of duty - that was not something he wanted to saddle his mother with, especially over dinner.

"You're smart, Cloud, and you're strong," Reyja argued. "I don't want to hear 'I can't' from you. Sure, you've always been small, but you've grown quite a bit since you left home, you know. I can even see muscles on you," she added, grinning as she pinched his biceps, which were indeed developing.

"C'mon, flex those guns for your mom," Zack joined in, ribbing Cloud. "She's right, you know. Hitting the weights and training with me is really paying off, Cloud. You look good."

Cloud blushed at the attention, but smiled at the compliment. He knew Zack was right; he'd been training hard, and it was a good thing he had been. Their recent missions had tested them both mentally and physically, and Cloud knew that if he had not kept up with his training, then he wouldn't have been able to keep up with the missions.

"Thanks Zack," Cloud replied with a smile. "I have a good trainer, though." He gave Zack a shy, sideways grin.

"So...you're Cloud's teacher?" Reyja inquired, her eyes narrowing. "I've been meaning to ask how you met, actually."

"I don't have Cloud as a student," Zack quickly explained. "We just train together at the gym and stuff. I do work as an instructor, though. Basic swordsmanship is what I teach."

"Cloud's always been good with a sword, ever since he was a wee young thing," Reyja reminisced, nodding. "You don't have any rules against...fraternizing with students there?"

Her question was pointed, though she tried to keep any hint of accusation out of her tone; learning that Zack was not a fellow student but an instructor at the Academy, just made Reyja a tiny bit nervous. Zack seemed like a very nice young man, she thought - but she worried too, that Cloud might be getting in over his head, swept off of his feet by a handsome, older man. It was simply a mother's way to worry, and Reyja needed the extra reassurance that Zack would do right by Cloud.

"No, there's not - I mean, if I had Cloud as a student in one of my classes, then yes...our relationship would not be allowed," Zack admitted. "Cloud had these same worries, Reyja, when we started dating. Don't worry...I would never do anything dishonorable. It would go against what SOLDIER stands for. Honor...it's one of our pillars, our moral code." Zack felt a slight tug at his heart at his own words, thinking of Angeal, and what honor meant to him.

What would happen to SOLDIER, now that Angeal was gone? He'd been the heart of SOLDIER after all, the glue that held them all together. Zack supposed he'd have to fill those shoes himself someday, when they returned to Midgar.

Reyja nodded thoughtfully, her gaze travelling back and forth from her son, to Zack. "I don't doubt that you are an honorable man, Zack," she replied slowly, and then sighed. "It's what a mother does, I suppose - worries about her children, even when they've grown into fine young men like my Cloud has done,." She smiled at Cloud, eyes slightly damp with tears though she stubbornly blinked them back.

"I am very proud of you Cloud, and how far you've come," Reyja told her son. "And I can see how happy you are with Zack; your eyes are shining with a joy that I've not seen in a long time. I am grateful for that."

"I am too, mom," Cloud said quietly, a wide grin on his face. "Meeting Zack has been the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Me too," Zack echoed, grinning. "And, well...as for marriage..." Now it was Zack's turn to blush, very aware of Reyja's scrutinous gaze on him. "Well, to answer your question from earlier, Cloud and I have talked about it, and when the time is right - "

"It's in our future plans," Cloud cut in, smiling. "I know it probably isn't what you pictured for me, but - "

"But nothing, Cloud!" Reyja snorted. "You're happy, I can see that. I'm glad you're not rushing into marriage, though, especially with my Cloud still in school. And Zack...you treat my son well, and you will have my blessing." Her pretty face relaxed into a warm smile. "Just promise me you won't run off and elope at the Gold Saucer, when the time comes, hmm? I'd like to see my only son's wedding."

Zack nodded, beaming. He'd won over Cloud's mother after all, and it was a wonderful feeling of being accepted into the family fold. "Of course we will. And...my parents will be there too," Zack added, giving Cloud a sideways smile. He decided then and there, once this mission in Nibelheim was completed, he would be taking Cloud to Gongaga on their next vacation, to meet his parents. It was time.

As Reyja began to get up and clear dishes from the table, Zack waved for her to sit down and relax. "Please...let us do the dishes, we don't mind. You put your feet up, Cloud and I will take care of the washing up."

"Yeah, go on, mom...take a rest. I know you must have spent all day cooking dinner for us, you must be so tired," Cloud told his mother.

"Well...I may have a bit of blackberry brandy and sit in the recliner for a bit, now that you mention it," Reyja replied. She was tired, but it had all been worth it; making Cloud's favorite meal, and seeing it well enjoyed by both of the young men made her heart happy and content.

"Good," Cloud said, giving his mother a kiss on the cheek. "Like I've been telling Zack...the only things I missed about Nibelheim were you, and your cooking."

A shadow fell across Reyja's face, and she sighed. "I know you didn't have an easy time growing up here, Cloud," Reyja said, her voice laced with regret as she poured herself a small glass of brandy from the decanter. "Some of the kids were downright horrible to you. And I regret that we were stuck here, I couldn't afford for us to move after your father died - "

"It's okay, mom," Cloud assured her. "Really, it is. It's not your fault. And who knows, even if we moved...kids can be assholes just about anywhere. I ran into a few in Midgar, even." He gave his mother a small smile, wanting to make her feel better. He wasn't about to go into details about Fredo and his minions; it was a thing Cloud wanted to forget, and bury in the past.

As Zack stood over the sink filling it with hot, soapy water, he overheard Cloud and his mother speaking about his father. It occurred to Zack suddenly that he didn't really know much about Cloud's father at all, or what had happened to him. All he did know, was that Mr. Strife had been a mythril miner, and had died in some sort of accident when Cloud was very young.

Cloud rejoined Zack near the sink, grabbing a dish towel from the chrome rack fastened to the wall. "You wash, I'll dry. And try not to break anything, either," Cloud cracked.

"Ha! Smartass. I am very domesticated, thank you very much - " Zack protested.

"And who domesticated you, hmm?" Cloud teased back. Reyja smiled, watching from her chair in the living room as the two playfully bantered back and forth with one another. She could see the love and affection between Cloud and his boyfriend, and it gave her even more reassurance that all would be right; that her only son, the one she'd feared would be a loner all his life, had found someone to love. Someone who seemed to love him just as much in return.

He seems to be a good man, this Zack Fair, Reyja thought as she sipped on her brandy. I can tell he is. I may not get the grandbabies I'd always dreamed about, unless they adopt some orphans, but knowing my son is happy and is loved...a mother cannot ask for more than that. She smiled, closing her eyes as she sat back in her chair and continued listening to Zack and Cloud teasing each other relentlessly.

At the Shinra Manor, and Genesis had gone after Sephiroth, trying to stop him from returning to the reactor, trying to ignore the physical weakness he felt in his body. "You cannot go, Sephiroth," he'd protested. "This is madness! What we need is the gift of the goddess. Minerva, she holds the key to cure our affliction - not Jenova."

"What you speak of is madness, Genesis," Sephiroth sneered. "Myths and legends, dead gods and goddesses of yesteryear. Minerva does not exist."

Genesis's mouth fell open at such blasphemy. He knew Sephiroth was a skeptic on such things, but to hear him denounce their patron like that - the goddess of Mother Earth - things were even worse than he thought.

"How dare you speak of her that way!" Genesis sputtered. "Minerva is real, Sephiroth. I believe - "

"No, you fool," Sephiroth snapped. He turned on the path and hooked his fingers into Genesis's tattered lapels, growling. "Jenova is real. Don't you hear her, Genesis? She needs us, her sons, to go and free her. And you ignore her cries for some made-up deity," he scoffed. "What is wrong with you!"

"I'm not Jenova's son!" Genesis exclaimed. "Do you know what they called Jenova, the science division? The 'Calamity that fell from the skies.' It's all there in Gast's report. You denounce Minerva, yet you believe in the myth of the Promised Land. How can you reconcile that?"

"I've read Gast's report," Sephiroth replied icily. "While he had a far better understanding of things than either Hojo or Hollander did, his report is full of inaccuracies and flaws. And I do not have to explain to you why I believe the things I believe, and what beliefs I choose to reject and why."

"What flaws?" Genesis demanded. "Sephiroth...you're not making any sense. Gast's report was clear and concise. He wasn't the bumbling hack that Hollander has proven to be."

Sephiroth threw his head back and laughed. "You couldn't possibly understand, Genesis, even if I took the time to explain it all to you. I do not have time for this; I need to get to her. And do not try to stop me, or you will be killed."

"I will be on my way, then," Genesis replied coolly, shaking his head sadly. "I pity you, Sephiroth. You are misguided at best…mad at worst. Minerva is our only hope for salvation - and the cure for my degradation. I will bid you adieu, then. I have rested enough here…now I must set out to search for the goddess materia so that I may heal."

"Oh, the fabled Goddess materia, hmm? More myths and legends, Genesis," Sephiroth said mockingly. "I do not have time for your fairy tales. I hope your death is quick and painless, when it comes."

Genesis looked back upon his friend and comrade sadly. There was a time when Genesis thought Sephiroth was the sanest of them all, and that he was the one who'd gone mad. Now, much too late, Genesis was starting to see the error of his ways. Genesis had been the first of the three friends to show physical evidence of the Jenova taint, and Sephiroth had been the last. Jenova's influence was now leaving Genesis, and latching onto Sephiroth's will, quickly shaping it into something horrid. It was a horrible realization for the Banoran, and an awful thing to witness, seeing the abrupt change in Sephiroth.

"Something is broken and twisted inside of you, Sephiroth...and it's being molded into something dreadful. Do not forget who you are, Sephiroth," Genesis cautioned.

Sephiroth laughed again madly. His hair flew in front of his face, slightly obscuring his vision but he did not seem to take notice . "Ha, ha, ha! And just what am I anyway, Genesis? You're the one who told me I was a monster!"

"But you are not just that, Sephiroth! You are a SOLDIER! The best the world has seen. And we all have a monster within us, Sephiroth," Genesis replied, a rueful look upon his face as he reflected upon all of his own transgressions from the past months. All the lives he'd taken when the madness threatened to consume him from within; Genesis did feel remorse for his acts now. Seeing Sephiroth set off upon a similar path had frightened Genesis enough into action, wanting to prevent Sephiroth from making the same mistakes he'd made.

But the Banoran SOLDIER's body grew weaker each day, with each breath and each step. The once-lush auburn hair had quickly transformed into sleek white strands; the lack of pigmentation was more pronounced even now, in the days that had passed since Genesis had sequestered himself away in the mansion.

Slowly, Genesis came to the reluctant realization that he could not save Sephiroth; but, he could perhaps save himself.

"We all have a monster inside," Genesis repeated in a soft monotone. He fell again to his knees, cursing himself for what he'd done, for what he'd revealed to Sephiroth. Genesis had hoped to convince the general to join him on his quest to seek the fabled Gift of the Goddess, and in that he had failed.

First you must punish them, Sephiroth. Those miserable humans, the wretches who used Mother. Cut her and slit her, drawing out her precious blood for their own selfish gains.

Punish them, and then go to her.

The voices came again to Sephiroth as he wandered about the acreage behind the Shinra Mansion, though this time it was not that incessant external buzzing, much like flies swarming about his head.

These voices came from within, as if his conscience had suddenly manifested itself into something physical, inside his brain. It took Sephiroth by surprise, but he quickly accepted the internal utterings of his mind.

"I will come for you, Mother. Fear not. I have been foolish and misguided...wasting my time listening to Genesis," Sephiroth spoke to no one, but his gaze fell upon the peak of Mount Nibel in the distance. He abruptly reversed course, the hem of his leather trench whipping around his tall leather boots as he marched resolutely back toward town.

How dare they hurt her! They tried to harness that which they did not understand, an Ancient magic greater than themselves. This miserable human race, they know nothing. Nothing!

I am chosen. I am one of the last surviving Ancients. I am the Planet's last hope.

First house on the left - it was the closest target, and Sephiroth smirked cruelly as he lobbed a massive fire spell at the quaint little stuccoed house. He had no idea who resided there, but he knew they were human, he could tell.

It didn't matter who it was, whoever lived there was one of them. One of those humans who must be punished for what they'd done to Jenova. As the madness took over his mind, fully blurring the line between reality and hallucination, Sephiroth completely overlooked the one thing that had held him together up until his discoveries in both the reactor and the basement of the Shinra mansion.

That underneath it all, beneath the proud and powerful exterior - this, the world's most powerful SOLDIER, was human too. He'd been born that way, though irreversibly altered with the introduction of Jenova's DNA. As those alien cells began to reawaken fully within Sephiroth's mind and body, the taint of the Calamity made him forget who he was in the grand scheme of things. Jenova's cells began to alter his consciousness and his will into some mad depravity born of another world.

Not that Sephiroth had ever been sure of who he was in the first place. Now everything was clear, though; Sephiroth was certain he'd finally discovered his purpose upon the Planet. He was his Mother's last hope. The others who had gone before had failed him, but he would not. Angeal and his silly ideals of honor, and SOLDIER; and Genesis, too wrapped up in his own vanity to see that Jenova needed him.

It mattered not that the others had failed; Sephiroth vowed then and there that he would avenge all the wrongs that had been done to Jenova, and he would return to set her free. Then, they could start anew. A real mother-and-son reunion, and they could start their lives over somewhere else.

The snap-crack sound of old timber catching flame made Sephiroth smile, as did the screams of the woman trapped within the little house. Now you know what it is to suffer, you miserable human wretch.

Days had passed with no sign of Sephiroth, and even Zack was beginning to worry.

"I really didn't think anything could defeat Sephiroth, but there's been no word from him at all," Zack muttered, shaking his head. "Wonder where he could be? We should go up to the Shinra Mansion and check things out, see if he's still there."

He and Cloud had spent the past several days questioning those in the town regarding the makonoids, without putting the concept into words. Zack knew that to incite a panic was the last thing this town needed, and so he posed his questions in the vaguest terms possible, asking villagers if they'd seen anything "strange" around the mountain. Other than hearsay about knowing someone or other who "may have seen a monster", or suspicions of hearing the cries of monsters in the dead of night, not one person questioned could provide actual testimony that they'd witnessed anything odd.

It all lead to dead ends, but the lack of any information made Zack and Cloud uneasy all the same; particularly for the cadet whose hometown this was. "Something is just not right, but I can't figure out what," Cloud had observed as they readied themselves that morning. He felt defeated and glum; not only had their questioning turned up nothing, Cloud had also not gotten the opportunity to speak with Tifa. The young martial artist was away at a competition with her fellow students and instructor, Zangan, though Tifa was due to arrive back in town that day.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, too," Zack muttered. "Something - " He paused suddenly, sniffing the air. "I smell smoke. Cloud - come on! Get your gear; something's happening in the square!" There was a great commotion to be heard, and as Zack and Cloud bounded down the staircase of the Inn, they looked up to see a giant fireball heading their way, straight through the bay window of the little Inn.

"Cloud, get down!" Zack screamed, dropping to his belly and pulling Cloud down with him. Cloud's helmet smacked against his forehead from the jolt and he saw stars, his skull aching and throbbing from the impact.

Dazed, the two quickly scrambled to their feet as the entire structure went up in flames, stumbling outside and taking in deep gulps of air. There was fire...everywhere, as far as the eye could see. Cloud looked across the square, just past the water tower to see his childhood home completely aflame.

"No! Mom!" Cloud ran toward the inferno, his progress halted by Zack's arms flying out to restrain him and snap him back, preventing him from rushing into certain death.

"Let go, Zack! My mother is in there, damn it! Let…..let go…." Cloud's voice became a whimpered sob; he coughed, choking on the thick black smoke that hung like a death mask over the sleepy mountain town. "I have to get her out!"

Zack's heart sank for Cloud as he realized the inevitable; that she was gone. Cloud's only family, his mother, whom Zack had only just met - gone. Burned alive, the victim of Sephiroth's mad rage. Zack shouted after the black-leather clad figure that was quickly retreating from the town; he rushed after Sephiroth, sword drawn and ready, but came to a skidding stop when the front wall of the Strife home simply fell over toward him, a whoosh of heat and soot racing toward them both. Zack nearly tripped backwards as he shoved Cloud out of the way. The cadet was still struggling to get into the flaming inferno of his mother's home.

"No! We can't go in there, Cloud! Cloud….Cloud….it's too late!" Zack shouted. What had once been Cloud's home had now been reduced to matchsticks; there was no way anyone inside could have survived. Already the frame of the little house was reduced to cinders; there, inside, was one barely discernable human form, half-slumped over to the side in the overstuffed recliner in the living room.

Reyja Strife had been sitting in her chair; she'd been knitting a scarf meant for Cloud when the fireball hit. She died almost instantly, but not without some degree of agony as she was immolated by Sephiroth's fire spell. Cloud wanted to go to his mother, wanted to at least see what was left, but the flames were too great, the heat too intense.

Other structures had caught fire as the flames spread; Tifa's house, just next door, was quickly ablaze. Tifa's father had rushed out of the house, grateful his daughter was not yet home, but was looking around frantically to see whether or not she had arrived.

"Shove off, Zack!" Cloud argued. "It's not – not too late – " He struggled against the strong arms that held him back, sobs racking in his chest. "Mom – mama – " Cloud cried out. He stumbled and nearly fell to his knees in his grief. Zack quickly helped him to his feet again, steadying him. His own rage was boiling over, but he contained it.

For now. Zack would deal with Sephiroth as soon as he was sure Cloud was okay. Okay? Zack scoffed inwardly at his own naiveté. How in the hell is he ever going to be okay, his mother just went up in flames!

"Cloud – Cloud, she's gone. I'm so sorry….but she's gone. She's gone," Zack whispered, placing his hands squarely on the cadet's shoulders, bracing him. "Cloud? Did you hear what I said?"

The cadet looked up at him blankly, hearing no sound; Zack's lips were moving, but Cloud couldn't hear a word he was saying, as shock set in. Even the sounds of destruction surrounding Cloud - of terrified screams, and the licking flames, buildings collapsing all around them – all was dead silent to Cloud as his brain tried to process what had happened.

It was but a moment before Cloud lifted his eyes to meet Zack's once again, and he asked his lover the question to which they'd never have an answer. One word.

"Why?"

Author's Note: Agggh, this was another hard chapter to write. Poor Cloud!

I hope y'all are sticking with me, we're at the home stretch here! Just a few more chapters to go. Many thanks to those who have followed this work and given me much needed feedback.